Emily

Why is it so hard to decide who to live with? I hate this right now.

Here are the two situations:

#1. The one I officially have said yes to. At the moment.

Upsides: Living with my three best friends. Who are all amazingly excited that I will be there next year. I'll be able to cook a lot, and they'd eat it happily. They have a place to live, very near campus. Rooming with probably my best friend at UCLA. Everyone I talk to (and they talk to) thinks it'll be a blast, and says how amazing the apartment is going to be next year, how fun, etc. They are all in marching band, which is important, because then we can all be obsessed together. I hang out with them pretty much every day, and we all get along.

Downsides: They are all guys. Which means that things might get weird because I'm a girl. They might bring girls home, which would be awkward, but I don't like any of them, so I wouldn't be jealous. I also would not be living with the other group of people, which really bums me out because we were so intent on living together next year starting from this summer. Mommy also isn't as thrilled as she was when I first brought up the situation.


#2. The one I have given up. If only temporarily.

Upsides: Amazing GIRLS. Went to high school with one, have known one for a couple of years, one I met this year. I can be completely myself around them, have girl talk, do each other's hair, etc. It's more of the "norm" of what people do. Probably would have a little cheaper rent. We wouldn't have to buy that much more furniture because one of them already has a couch, TV, table, kitchen accessories, etc.

Downsides: Drama. The whole situation broke up because I don't want them to keep fighting like they did last week. We all have pretty different personalities, which could potentially be a bad thing. Have had drama with one majorly in the past, and can feel that I might with another one or possibly both. We have problems limiting ourselves when we're together (baking, cooking, shopping). They still don't have a lease. I'd be rooming with someone with completely different ideas of how our room should be kept. Only one of them is in marching band, and not nearly as obsessed as I am. I'd also be responsible for finding the other people a fourth, where in this situation, I wouldn't have to.



After talking with a couple people, including an objective observer, I am feeling a lot better about my choice. I was just hoping to get some more opinions before I actually sign papers and stuff. But still, ditching the girls is breaking my heart, and the whole situation is making me want to curl up in a corner and cry. It basically comes down to that fact that I can and can't see myself in both situations. I am usually a very good imaginer when it comes to the future, even if it doesn't end up like how I thought it would, but I still can't imagine living without either of these situations.

Although, making a list did really help me feel better about my choice. Even though the upsides to #2 are better, there are way less downsides to #1.

Help me PLEASE!!! I just want your opinions.

R.I.P. Cameron Mitchell-Goulette

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESt1pkecWGM

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/breaking_news/16105277.htm

I walked this kid to school every day, when I was in 8th grade and he was in 6th. Even though we grew apart after that, and I don't think that I talked to him in over 2 years, I still thought about him quite a lot. He was the sweetest kid when he wanted to be, so brilliant, and he could have done so much with his life if he had wanted to. I am going to miss him so much.

I am really late on getting to this... Tom needs to be thanked for making an amazing video.

He'll always be in my heart, and forever on my mind.

So, I really don't want to go out tonight... but it's my only night to go out... and I don't really like my outfit, but I'm gonna wear slippers which makes it that much cooler, but still. PLUS I have a lesson tomorrow, but it's not til noon, yet I still need to practice... hopefully I'll get home around 1ish. But I just don't have an excited feeling about tonight... maybe if I go to the tower for a bit. But then it'd be weird, cuz people know I don't really like going out, and I look a bit funny... but it's Halloween, so everyone looks a bit funny... I don't know anymore. I think I'm just going to hang out. Maybe read something. Why am I such a party pooper?

ROCKS MY WORLD!!!

I'm so ecstatic that Jeffrey won. I was worried for a bit, because Laura's collection looked really good, but I'm really really really happy with it.

And so my life goes on...

It is the best feeling in the world to go to bed after being drunk, just after it's worn off slightly. Because you know it's the best sleep you'll have in a while.


and now i think i have a crush on greg. man, I hope eric and juan don't ever read this...

Describe your day in one word:

Ouch.


My legs hurt so much. But luckily my residents are all pretty cool. Hopefully I can be a good RA.

Tell me if I'm otherwise.

I'm so bored. Not even the internet is helping. Pretty much, I wanna just be completely out of it for now. Because I missed that chance last night. Which sucked. Even AIM is boring, and I'm kinda all out of Facebook and Myspace stalking energy. Meaning I really don't want to be here. I'm going to go take pictures of random crap. Maybe that'll help. Probably not.

I need a metaphorical flashlight for someone who's fallen down a hole so deep he "can't see the light anymore."

And i really want to help him. and he really deserves it.

plus, he already rejected my metaphorical mattress idea for when he hits the ground.

There's absolutely nothing to do.

But I can't go to bed.

This sucks.

Project Runmway kicks ass.




That is all. I will leave you in peace.

rbrdckysldewstle (11:33:05 PM): i will not go to bed
crisplikeasalad (11:33:18 PM): ah, why not?
rbrdckysldewstle (11:33:27 PM): because i'm addicted to you, darling

No one updates these things anymore. Including me.

I'm so tired, but I can't go to bed. Not yet. It's still early. I mean, it's still today and not tomorrow yet.

Dang.

Life is pretty good right now.

Except for the fact that my computer doesn't work. but hopefully tom will fix that tonight.

Also, any one want to give me the money for a plane ticket to and from boston? cuz i really want to be there right now.

Happy birthday weekend to Fiona.

Alright, I have nothing really more to say to the public. Except it's effing hot in the room where I am... just thought you all should know that. Also, I have an extra ticket to an A's game for I think this Friday (I should probably check the date). Anyway, I have no clue where the seats are, but it's free. Any takers? Get to spend some quality time with me, my sister, and a friend of my sister's choosing- how could you not take it? Let me know.

so christina left

and i just said my drunken good byes to all of my friends on my floor. so sad. but have to get up early tomorrow, therfore, need to go to bed. good night.

Christina is in the process of leaving...

Don't take it personally. That's what she said. But how am I not supposed to take it personally, as that what it is.

After all of this, after all my hard work and pain, I have found that I am merely . . . forgettable.

It kills me, but I'll get through it. After all, there is only 3 more weeks to live in this hell, then I get to go home to an entirely familiar kind of hell, but that one I can fight. That one I know how to fight.

Ah, well, just another sunny day in this worn out life.

The sun has finally decided to come out of it's hibernation.

The past few days have been gorgeous, and with that, the anorexics are now taking over the lawns. Finding a place between them to set out a towel is becoming harder by the day.

Cuz tomorrow I'm going HOME for MOMMY'S DAY! Yay!

But, there'll be no time for hanging out, cuz I'm just going to be there for friday night and saturday. I'm then leaving Sunday morning, so that my dad can get back to Pton in time. But still, I get to see my mommy (and sister and dad). AND! My family has kept it a surprise from my mom. So, SHHH! If you see her, dont' tell.

Also, I just cleaned my room. and the cleaning lady is going to come in soon and make it all pretty. I am feeling very productive today.

YAY! I totally didn't fail my midterm.

Which is quite an accomplishment, in my opinion.

I don't know how well I did, whether it be a C or a B. But the point is, I actually knew a lot of the stuff she asked. Therefore, I'm up for celebrating.

That's all.

Lord, thank you so much for today.

Thank you for being there when my sister rolled the car.

Thank you for having people there to watch over her.

Thank you for saving her life and letting her walk away with just a scratch.

Thank you.